Pilot Season – Episode 1: Chris Crayzie

Dab Life Mike:

I’m Dab Life Mike, this is Chris …

Chris Crayzie:

Do it again.

Dab Life Mike:

Let’s go. Anyways.

Chris Crayzie:

How now brown cow?

Dab Life Mike:
Welcome to The Dab Roast. Welcome to The Dab Roast. Taking 10 dabs, answering 10 questions. I’m Dab Life Mike. On this episode of the Dab Roast, we have Chris Crayzie, as seen on TV on Ridiculousness, Tosh.0 and Dr. Oz. I’m Dab Life Mike. This is Chris Crayzie. Welcome to the Dab Roast. (singing) Thank you for coming today, Chris.

Chris Crayzie:
Thank you for having me, guys.

Dab Life Mike:
How did you get your name?

Chris Crayzie:
Doing idiotic shit as a youth, and it sort of rolled over into my grown up years. But I digress. I mellowed out a whole lot. So now I just do dab antics and smoke pot and be a father and shit.

Dab Life Mike:
Right.

Chris Crayzie:
Be a father and shit and then drugs later. I’m a father first.

Dab Life Mike:
After they go to sleep, you know what I mean?

Chris Crayzie:
Nowhere in the facility, yes. Of course.

Dab Life Mike:
Roger that. All right. We’re going to bust out this first one here at the top.

Chris Crayzie:
You know, they ain’t got to wait and shit. We’re grownups, right? I can just put the drugs in right on in here, right? Yum. This is for America. Did you guys wipe the mouth pieces? You get mouth sores and shit. Got all the jelly juice out of there.

Dab Life Mike:
That was nice.

Chris Crayzie:
Still more drugs.

Dab Life Mike:
I like that.

Chris Crayzie:
Shit. What the fuck? Once you give over the taste, the smell, and the texture of it.

Dab Life Mike:
Smooth. It was a nice smooth one, almost like a… Kind of fruity, almost like a strawberry. A little bit of strawberry almost to it.

Chris Crayzie:
It had a little mango. Got a little. My face is extracting the terps. Can you see that?

Dab Life Mike:
Yeah.

Chris Crayzie:
Face extracting terps. First terp in, first dab in.

Dab Life Mike:
Definitely got some terps on that, damn.

Chris Crayzie:
Put my glasses on because my future’s so bright.

Dab Life Mike:
All right. So how did you first start blowing up on Instagram and what did it feel like?

Chris Crayzie:
Can’t describe the feeling. Like very, very awesome as fuck. I’m just being an open book on the internet. So you know, me coughing, me spitting up lung jelly, mucus, crying from smoking medication.

Dab Life Mike:
Yeah. Kabobble.

Chris Crayzie:
Kabobbles. That’s when your body extracts what you just smoked, and it comes out of your breadbasket in mild form. But just nose dabbing. I’m the inventor of nose dabs. You fucking right. You heard it here first. I’m the one degradating and bringing down the cannabis community by smoking nose dabs. Because I’m a grownup, and it’s my life.

Dab Life Mike:
There you go.

Chris Crayzie:
Okay?

Dab Life Mike:
I’m with it.

Chris Crayzie:
All right.

Dab Life Mike:
Let’s bust out another one.

Chris Crayzie:
That’s what she’s keeps…

Dab Life Mike:
I’m going to clean it-

Chris Crayzie:
They didn’t clean it? They didn’t clean the hole?

Dab Life Mike:
No.

Chris Crayzie:
That one was low. This one’s as big as a motherfucker, man.

Dab Life Mike:
That’s true. You don’t have to dab the whole thing.

Chris Crayzie:
Oh, you don’t? I can pace myself and then take some home and shit?

Dab Life Mike:
Yeah, yeah.

Chris Crayzie:
Or maybe? Or no?

Dab Life Mike:
Yep. Go nuts. Go nuts. As long as you do a proper dab, that’s all that matters.

Chris Crayzie:
Right. Right.

Dab Life Mike:
We’re not going to be size queens.

Chris Crayzie:
I’m high, or there’s a little man that just brought them paper towels over here for us. I don’t know if we’ll need that. I know I’m going to need it for sure. Get in there, honey. Shit. Fucking up these people’s stuff. My eyes won’t stop watering.

Dab Life Mike:
What’s the most trouble that you’ve gotten in at an event? And also, what is the most you’ve gone through to smuggle weed into an event, maybe out of state or something like that?

Chris Crayzie:
I don’t like bad energy, so I haven’t had any problems at any events thankfully. It was a High Times in Frisco, and they wouldn’t allow jars in with the pot and shit. Where did we go? I think we walked about a half a goddamn mile to the anon or whatever Sunoco they got out there.

Dab Life Mike:
You get a Big Gulp or something?

Chris Crayzie:
Right. Right.

Dab Life Mike:
Yeah. Yeah.

Chris Crayzie:
And she charged us full price. We just needed empty containers.

Dab Life Mike:
Yup.

Chris Crayzie:
They didn’t have plastic. I guess they stopped the plastic. Yeah, we stepped on the Super Big Gulp containers full of medicine in the backpack.

Dab Life Mike:
That’s great. All right. Let’s bust out another one.

Chris Crayzie:
Here we go.

Dab Life Mike:
Like a little microcrystalline going on in here?

Chris Crayzie:
The Lite-Brite. No, got to love that always, right?

Dab Life Mike:
That’s always nice. Almost like a… It’s kind of sharp.

Chris Crayzie:
Like a Gouda or an oregano. Not an oregano. An arugula. I’m getting cob salad out of this. Healthy.

Dab Life Mike:
Cobb salad?

Chris Crayzie:
Yeah. Healthy.

Dab Life Mike:
I’ve never eaten a cob salad in my life.

Chris Crayzie:
Yeah, I can see by your hips.

Dab Life Mike:
Shit.

Chris Crayzie:
Spent 12 hours on that #9. I’m spitting it up here. It’s nice and cinnamon too. My eyes won’t stop leaking.

Dab Life Mike:
What advice would you give to anyone trying to up their IG cloud?

Chris Crayzie:
Content, content, content. You looking for cloud tokens on social media? Content. Give people content. They want content. It’s no rhyme or reason to this shit. I’m not a skit guy on there or whatnot. Shout out those people doing that. Whatever it is you do, making videos, waist training, tummy tuck tee and all that shit. Whatever it is you do, just make sure it’s content. Put out content. Get familiar with your karate and get it going. Two people watching the video? You got a goddamn audience. Build, build, build. Keep going, man. Don’t stop.

Dab Life Mike:
So you going keep going? Here goes dab number four.

Chris Crayzie:
That was a shitty segue. Okay.

Dab Life Mike:
Still a segue.

Chris Crayzie:
Yeah. Not one variety. My nose is leaking juices now.

Dab Life Mike:
That’s orange.

Chris Crayzie:
Yep. Orangeade maybe. Clementine is a bit more orangy.

Dab Life Mike:
Yeah, it’s definitely not like a hardcore Tango, but it’s something. Something related to that.

Chris Crayzie:
I like that, okay. It’s in there. Put these in order. That’s the best one thus far. I like it. Who made this dabber here? It says the name on it. [Minnie 00:08:25] [Nell 00:08:25]. Seattle country. Shout out to Minnie Nell.

Dab Life Mike:
Give us a lowdown on being a weed celeb on Instagram. What does it take to make a living off IG?

Chris Crayzie:
I can hate that term influencer, but that’s what the youth are calling it and shit, being an influencer. It’s just different companies have the capital to want to invest in you to put their company behind your name, you do what it is that’s gotten you to your traction already with their produce, or with their clothes, or sneakers, or shake weights and shit. It’s so much stuff to do. I don’t know if you’re an artist, they’re looking for that. Musicians, music. Every facet of life. There is a life in the cannabis community also. So, yeah.

Dab Life Mike:
Cool. I guess that puts us on dab number five.

Chris Crayzie:
I’m about to cry.

Dab Life Mike:
Just a little. I might be wrong on that.

Chris Crayzie:
You may be.

Dab Life Mike:
Yeah, a little. I’ll go with that. Maybe a little lemony.

Chris Crayzie:
Do you remember back in the day when we would only smoking YouTube, YouTube, YouTube hot, just that hot? Pink hot, death, die.

Dab Life Mike:
All right. So in your opinion, has the cannabis industry gone too corporate?

Chris Crayzie:
Not yet. It’s fully going to kick in, though. Completely. Federal is in route.

Dab Life Mike:
Heading there.

Chris Crayzie:
Everything. Yeah. Yeah. But it sure has. They took High Tide from us, or any smoking, fun, cool, grassroots events from us.

Dab Life Mike:
At least in Washington. Vegas now has their first one. I’m not sure if it already opened or is about to open, but they had a public smoking lounge now in Vegas.

Chris Crayzie:
Wow.

Dab Life Mike:
So if federal goes legal, it could be you know?

Chris Crayzie:
Right, right.

Dab Life Mike:
They could go to the old drinking salon days. You know what I mean?

Chris Crayzie:
Right.

Dab Life Mike:
When they realized alcohol and stuff and whatever.

Chris Crayzie:
Yeah. Because then that blows my mind that you go somewhere and get pissy drunk and kill everybody on the road, but lord forbid you smoke some of the devil’s lettuce in your car.

Dab Life Mike:
Yup.

Chris Crayzie:
So yeah. Shout out to Vegas for getting the drug using lounge. That’s awesome.

Dab Life Mike:
I agree.

Chris Crayzie:
Drug users right here.

Dab Life Mike:
Oh, wow.

Chris Crayzie:
Okay, hey now. Using all this drug right here.

Dab Life Mike:
One right here.

Chris Crayzie:
This is a good one.

Dab Life Mike:
That’s definitely like a lemony limey like sharp.

Chris Crayzie:
Good dolphin urine, that is.

Dab Life Mike:
Dolphin urine?

Chris Crayzie:
Yeah.

Dab Life Mike:
Dolphin urine? How much dolphin urine have you experienced in your life?

Chris Crayzie:
Man, I got sprayed. I fell off a Sea-Doo.

Dab Life Mike:
Did you know, I think it’s dolphins, pigs and humans are the only species, if I am correct, that have sex for pleasure?

Chris Crayzie:
Seahorses get fucked and the man has to have the baby. Google that.

Dab Life Mike:
And also there’s a statistical amount of people that get raped by dolphins every year.

Chris Crayzie:
Oh, that’s a goddamn lie.

Speaker 3:
Ow. Ow. Hey, what’s the gag?

Dab Life Mike:
Dolphins be raping people. So you swim with a dolphin, you got to be careful you don’t you know. Don’t say it. That was really good, though.

Chris Crayzie:
Yeah. That was her. That was her. I was going to do them in order of what I liked. Got to be more careful.

Dab Life Mike:
Now I’m almost dead.

Chris Crayzie:
Man, what is this?

Dab Life Mike:
I don’t-

Chris Crayzie:
Boost oxygen? Recharge and recover. Altitude and poor air quality. What the-

Dab Life Mike:
Is this like doping when you’re-

Chris Crayzie:
Hangover relief.

Dab Life Mike:
This is like if you wanted to be like a Lance Armstrong, you could just have some of this kick in. You got a boost, you known what I mean?

Chris Crayzie:
He’s the one, the bike rider, with one ball?

Dab Life Mike:
Yeah.

Chris Crayzie:
Wrong example. Give me another one. Up to 201 second inhalations.

Dab Life Mike:
I’m going to hit it.

Chris Crayzie:
.95% pure. What the fuck is 95%?

Dab Life Mike:
Ambient air.

Chris Crayzie:
You’re lying. Where’d you read that at?

Dab Life Mike:
Right there.

Chris Crayzie:
what is ambient air?

Dab Life Mike:
It’s just like air.

Chris Crayzie:
I don’t know what any of that means. If you don’t die, I’m a do it after about 10 seconds.

Dab Life Mike:
Are you supposed to do it through your nose, though? It shoots me in the throat, man.

Chris Crayzie:
Oh my god.

Dab Life Mike:
That’s not fair. Look at that little… That’s not the best-

Chris Crayzie:
That’s a little white man on there. They don’t got the black cut outs on here. Where’s the black kid using this shit? So what do you do, pull the trigger and inhale?

Dab Life Mike:
Yeah, I guess just-

Chris Crayzie:
Do it again. Let me see if you going to die. You didn’t use even more. See, I didn’t even see nothing blowing out. I should see 5% of whatever that bullshit is blowing out. I ain’t using this. I’m scared. I’m scared.

Dab Life Mike:
I’m stoned now.

Chris Crayzie:
I’m stoned.

Dab Life Mike:
Now I’m properly lit.

Chris Crayzie:
I’m lit.

Dab Life Mike:
In your music, you have a lot of gang mentions.

Chris Crayzie:
I do.

Dab Life Mike:
Have you actually ever been in a gang, or what’s the scoop?

Chris Crayzie:
Everybody comes from something, meaning I was just a product of my environment. And the Crips was right there. I made it through that, but through the graces of god, because fuck it. And Tacoma. And fuck it.

Dab Life Mike:
I see them on Cops.

Chris Crayzie:
Yeah. Taliban for real. So yeah, made it through that. Then I just tried to help the youth and stuff. If they do want to listen, because the kids… These millennials are something else. But whom do want to catch on to the shit I be talking about, they grab hold of it, and pick it apart, and get the good shit out of it. But yeah, everybody come from something. So yeah, yup. I sure was. Sure am always going to be. It’s what it is. But I’m a grownup too, so if you didn’t catch me then, forget that shit now. Bro, it’s all good. You got to represent where you from, so represent where you from. It ain’t though, bullshit. I don’t give up. Shout out to Bloods and everybody else. Some of my best friends is the opposite gangs. Street fraternity. We like to call it a street fraternity. Put a quirky twist on that shit. Yeah. So yeah.

Dab Life Mike:
There you go.

Chris Crayzie:
Hey.

Dab Life Mike:
Cool. All right. That puts us on dab-

Chris Crayzie:
More drugs.

Dab Life Mike:
Six.

Chris Crayzie:
See? Crips use drugs.

Dab Life Mike:
Oh, shit. That’s what it’s a Crip day.

Chris Crayzie:
Oh, heck yeah. [inaudible 00:15:36] temperature and shit to see how high. I had to check the email and the goddamn temperature has been the same temperature.

Dab Life Mike:
It’s cool. Earlier, i meant to blow on the nail because it was smoking. And then I went to go sniff in the jar, and then I blew in the jar instead of take a sniff out of the jar. Well, nobody saw that, right? Cool, cool.

Chris Crayzie:
You’re going to like this. Maybe. I can’t speak for you.

Dab Life Mike:
This one smells like…

Chris Crayzie:
Where’s that can of [mesothelioma 00:16:16]? Let me get it. I’ll use it now. Yeah, it works. Yeah. Yeah. It worked. It worked. My face keeps watering.

Dab Life Mike:
I like that.

Chris Crayzie:
Watering.

Dab Life Mike:
That was nice.

Chris Crayzie:
That’s my favorite thus far. That’s my favorite.

Dab Life Mike:
Fucking keep it to the side.

Chris Crayzie:
I don’t know why they don’t have a patent on them.

Dab Life Mike:
So over your career of smoking, what are some of your favorite flavors of flower or hash in general? Your tops.

Chris Crayzie:
Any six star. I know that’s hard to come by because everybody lies about everything.

Dab Life Mike:
Or it just gets pressed.

Chris Crayzie:
Mm-hmm (affirmative). Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. And flower, pretty much all of it. I love it. It’s too much to name.

Dab Life Mike:
It is the spice of life.

Chris Crayzie:
Excuse me. To my bone marrow from my soul. Fuck yeah, if you like Blue Dream, and double fuck yeah if you like Purple Punch. Diet weed is not for America, god damn it. Hey, it’s my little shitty humble opinion. But if you’re a true stoner and a connoisseur like myself and smoke on China glass, fuck China glass, smoke penny glass, then you’ll understand that Blue Dream and Purple Punch is for the beginning. Hey, you got to start somewhere in life. So okay, I digress, okay? I’ma take the positive angle. I’m being positive to the motherfucker right now. If you like Blue Dream, more power to you. If you like Purple Punch, hey-

Dab Life Mike:
That looked painful. That looked painful.

Chris Crayzie:
I’m trying to be positive. If you like Blue Dream and Purple Punch-

Dab Life Mike:
I can see it. It’s like you just stabbed yourself, though.

Chris Crayzie:
Yeah. Et tu, Brutus?

Dab Life Mike:
It’s like, “Are you all right?” I just can’t like… I saw that. I’m faithful.

Chris Crayzie:
I don’t know. Seriously, fuck yourself if you like Blue Dream. Diet weed. Tastes great, but… Purple Punch is good for halves. Let say that.

Dab Life Mike:
Mm-hmm (affirmative). All right.

Chris Crayzie:
But flower wise, it’s-

Dab Life Mike:
I’ve never smoked a flower. I was going to say I’ve ran some. We extracted some. It was good.

Chris Crayzie:
Okay.

Dab Life Mike:
I like that. But yeah, I’ve never smoked the flower.

Chris Crayzie:
The flower is fucking… It’s like a-

Dab Life Mike:
I get to say that about a lot of strains, though. I like that.

Chris Crayzie:
Diet Alka-Seltzer or something. Yeah.

Dab Life Mike:
Diet Alka-Seltzer?

Chris Crayzie:
Yeah. Yeah. It’s horrible. It looks great and everything, man. But no thanks. No thanks. All the exotic strains, the Jungle [inaudible 00:18:46] strains, shit, I love it all. I love it all. Except Blue Dream and Purple Punch thus far. I’m from the ghetto and shit, so I’m sure you were raised the right way. Did you only have Kool-aid, or do you hit the Dwyers? Did you see Dwyers?

Dab Life Mike:
I saw both ends. We were like middle class and bro. I saw a range of economic place. I-

Chris Crayzie:
Did it say Bandcamp or was it black and white label that said beans?

Dab Life Mike:
I don’t even know Bandcamp, so-

Chris Crayzie:
Your childhood was that-

Dab Life Mike:
So we had like a… We said refried beans. Refried beans.

Chris Crayzie:
Damn. I thought only Black and Mexican people ate refried beans.

Dab Life Mike:
Really?

Chris Crayzie:
Man, I just smoked all y’all’s drugs up and shit. This is awesome, man.

Dab Life Mike:
Col, cool.

Chris Crayzie:
Shit. Goddamn it. You fucking up these people’s shit.

Dab Life Mike:
It’s cool. It’s just water. I work here, bro. We’ll get somebody to clean that shit up.

Chris Crayzie:
I’m sure they’re not paying the camera crew, so they’ll edit that out or something.

Dab Life Mike:
I like this one.

Chris Crayzie:
For the last, that’s what was going on here? Okay.

Dab Life Mike:
Oh, man. I don’t know if I can go in… I’m going to have to knock some off of that one. I like it. I think it’s Purple Punch, though.

Chris Crayzie:
Okay, that was gassed.

Dab Life Mike:
I like that. I didn’t even cough. That was nice. I like that. That was nice.

Chris Crayzie:
Shit.

Dab Life Mike:
I like that one a lot.

Chris Crayzie:
I got a lot of water out of my face.

Dab Life Mike:
What is your favorite event that you’ve ever been to and smoked at, and who is your favorite person in general to smoke with?

Chris Crayzie:
Chalice.

Dab Life Mike:
First Chalice, or second? Both?

Chris Crayzie:
Both truthfully.

Dab Life Mike:
In general.

Chris Crayzie:
Yeah. The first one’s.

Dab Life Mike:
Yup.

Chris Crayzie:
Fucking everything was lit.

Dab Life Mike:
That bitch was hot, but it was tight.

Chris Crayzie:
Oh my goodness, yeah.

Dab Life Mike:
It was hot out there.

Chris Crayzie:
Yeah, it ain’t right. Chalice, though, is joint. Yeah. It’s nighttime, so it’s neck and neck always. They’re all awesome.

Dab Life Mike:
Yeah.

Chris Crayzie:
You go to Seattle, that’s the best on earth. Are You crazy?

Dab Life Mike:
There you go.

Chris Crayzie:
Boston Freedom Rally. Man, Boston Freedom Rally is awesome as shit, too y’all. I think they’re like the longest running protest of either.

Dab Life Mike:
Okay.

Chris Crayzie:
The best in Seattle. I think, don’t quote me on that, but yeah. All the events. All of them. Yes. But the first Chalice, the first and second Chalice, fucking you crazy.

Dab Life Mike:
Yeah. I’ll have to go with you on that one.

Chris Crayzie:
Yeah.

Dab Life Mike:
Smoking out and doing big, big stage, you know?

Chris Crayzie:
All the hottest acts that year.

Dab Life Mike:
No, for sure. What you do now is awesome.

Chris Crayzie:
All weekend. It was weekend run. Couple hours. That was it. So yeah. And favorite-

Dab Life Mike:
Favorite person to smoke with in general? Who do you like… If you got the smoke a blunt, you’re like, “Let’s smoke a blunt, but I want smoke with somebody” who’s like the first homie you think of, or first person you call that you want to smoke a blunt with? Or like do a dab, whatever?

Chris Crayzie:
Oh, so locally?

Dab Life Mike:
Local or just in general. Let’s say if you could, if you had access to anybody that you wanted to, say you could just call up somebody and they could just magically be at your door 15 minutes later, who would you hit up?

Chris Crayzie:
Yeah. Yeah. Dabbing granny.

Dab Life Mike:
Oh, okay. Dabbing granny.

Chris Crayzie:
Gail.

Dab Life Mike:
That’s the stuff.

Chris Crayzie:
Yeah. That’s my poppy, man. That heifer drinks and smokes more than all of us. Anybody I put my… I’d bet the farm on her if it’s dab time. She can do it. That’s my poppy. Yeah. So yeah. And she funny as shit. So yup. Dabbing granny.

Dab Life Mike:
Oh, yeah. Shout out to dabbing granny.

Chris Crayzie:
Like a piece of bacon. This in bacon oil. That’s how good this looks.

Dab Life Mike:
Just one big. It’s going to be a shame to break that.

Chris Crayzie:
The whole thing, yeah.

Dab Life Mike:
You just got one big one in there too?

Chris Crayzie:
I just got one, just one donkey nugget.

Dab Life Mike:
Cheers for fucking bacon.

Chris Crayzie:
Everybody loves your name. And they’re always glad you came. Oh, shit. Fuck everything.

Dab Life Mike:
I like that one. For a second.

Chris Crayzie:
Wow.

Dab Life Mike:
That’s nice. That’s light. It’s like a light, flowery kind of like a floral.

Chris Crayzie:
Shit.

Dab Life Mike:
Yeah, I like that.

Chris Crayzie:
Maybe an Animal Mints, or something? Shit.

Dab Life Mike:
That was a big one. That was a big dad.

Chris Crayzie:
That’s what she said. That third one tacks the best of them, though. That’s what we just did. It smelled the best. It fucking tastes the best so far.

Dab Life Mike:
Holy fuck, my face. Jesus Christ. That one connected all the other different parts of my head that were high, and made my whole head high.

Chris Crayzie:
You’ve been talking this whole time, man? Shit.

Dab Life Mike:
That brings us to one last dab. We have one left.

Chris Crayzie:
So you’re just like flinging the shot. Herpe in a can. Dabs are too much for you? Herpe in a can.

Dab Life Mike:
You know there’s an s. Herpes.

Chris Crayzie:
Herpes.

Dab Life Mike:
That’s plural.

Chris Crayzie:
Oh, because it’s more than one bump right here. Who knows?

Dab Life Mike:
Is that a product promo thing, or is that just some shit you picked up, Scott? This is the last question.

Chris Crayzie:
You got more questions here? God.

Dab Life Mike:
This is the last one. Last question.

Chris Crayzie:
Sure. You said that.

Dab Life Mike:
Might as well dab the whole thing again.

Chris Crayzie:
Let’s go, baby. This was awesome as fuck.

Dab Life Mike:
We’ve got to do the question first.

Chris Crayzie:
Who cares? It’s 30 more questions, so you just have 30 more drugs.

Dab Life Mike:
Do you have any upcoming music coming out, or any projects in the works?

Chris Crayzie:
Yes. I have another album dropping in about a month or so.

Dab Life Mike:
You got a name for it yet?

Chris Crayzie:
November. Yeah. The Baby Momma Whisperer.

Dab Life Mike:
The Baby Momma Whisperer?

Chris Crayzie:
Yes. Yes. [crosstalk 00:26:12].

Dab Life Mike:
I’d ask what it’s about, but it’s kind of self evident in the title.

Chris Crayzie:
Stuff you’re doing, baby momma. Things like that eat food, Netflix and chill. More. More. Yeah. So-

Dab Life Mike:
You got to keep it quiet, right? So that’s the whisperer.

Chris Crayzie:
That’s the whisperer.

Dab Life Mike:
There’s a baby next door or whatever, right?

Chris Crayzie:
Look at my boner. You could just say that with my eyes. Energy. I have energy.

Dab Life Mike:
Okay.

Chris Crayzie:
To my chakras threw, and then my hump chakras that are numb and whisper.

Dab Life Mike:
I feel like we should cheers this one-

Chris Crayzie:
Again? Do it again?

Dab Life Mike:
[inaudible 00:26:50].

Chris Crayzie:
Negative people are going watch this and they’re going to think we’re a couple of cheers and shit. But that was the last one.

Dab Life Mike:
It’s cool. Ding ding.

Chris Crayzie:
Even better. This one I seriously really do did want to eat that one.

Dab Life Mike:
Took a second dab. Melt into the side of it.

Chris Crayzie:
Younger or summers.

Dab Life Mike:
Yeah, I could smoke that one all day. Yeah. Oh, shit. That’s a real kabobble.

Chris Crayzie:
Yup.

Dab Life Mike:
That’s a real kabobble.

Chris Crayzie:
Missed everything. It’s going, the little shit. Makes for great TV, pieces of shit. I have failed you. They’ll sue all of us. And you just going to…

Dab Life Mike:
Yeah. Oh, shit. That was the real swallow right there.

Chris Crayzie:
So we just going to keep doing things. They’re not even stopping to help me. Shit.

Dab Life Mike:
You’re a grown man. I was trying to avoid-

Chris Crayzie:
He got the…

Dab Life Mike:
Pretty good aim.

Chris Crayzie:
It’s. I see why people got me out here doing this. I’m sorry if I failed you.

Dab Life Mike:
What happened?

Chris Crayzie:
I’m sorry if I failed you, America. No I ain’t. Fuck you, America. I can’t believe you just sat here and let that shit happen. You don’t want to help-

Dab Life Mike:
What can I do?

Chris Crayzie:
Look at that shit on the floor, man.

Dab Life Mike:
I tethered here, too.

Chris Crayzie:
You motherfuckers don’t cut this shit out of his show, either.

Dab Life Mike:
I’m tethered-

Chris Crayzie:
I don’t want to motherfucking believe it. I don’t want to motherfucking see it myself.

Dab Life Mike:
I couldn’t move. What do you want me to. Yeah, but if I move this way, I’m like in the range of getting kabobbled on.

Chris Crayzie:
Hear this shit, you guys?

Dab Life Mike:
If I move right here, because you were like… This is danger zone, so I’m just like, “What can I do?”

Chris Crayzie:
That’s the dab bro zone.

Dab Life Mike:
I can’t run.

Chris Crayzie:
For sure. I had to fail all of you. Something came out of my. Oh my god.

Dab Life Mike:
That reminds me of-

Chris Crayzie:
That don’t remind you of nothing. It doesn’t remind you of nothing.

Dab Life Mike:
Look, I’m tied here. If I make the wrong move, then I’m tied here and I’m getting kabobbled on.

Chris Crayzie:
Fuck. I feel like a slave cleaning up shit.

Dab Life Mike:
Somebody get the thing over here.

Chris Crayzie:
Damn it. Motherfucker. This was the dab bros.

Dab Life Mike:
That happened.

Chris Crayzie:
It did happen. And what else happened is you not helping. Subscribe to win the vaporizer Khan… The Khan Vibration Herbal Vaporizer from Kahn. Subscribe to win this joint-

Dab Life Mike:
Don’t we have more of those? Did somebody steal the rest of them?

Chris Crayzie:
Damn, look. Damn, there’s only one-

Dab Life Mike:
There’s an open one.

Chris Crayzie:
Let’s show them. Let’s show the people.

Dab Life Mike:
Subscribe to win.

Chris Crayzie:
Seriously. Dab Roast to you people. Subscribe to win Khan Vibration Vaporizer. Dab team, this shit was awesome as fuck.

Dab Life Mike:
Holy shit.

Chris Crayzie:
I failed you all.

Dab Life Mike:
That was wild.

Chris Crayzie:
Thank you guys. That’s a wrap. I failed you guys.